


Writing's On The Wall

by flickawhip



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: F/F, Slow Burn, hints of domestic abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-05-04 08:27:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 2,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14589024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flickawhip/pseuds/flickawhip
Summary: Merle finds herself loved... and safe.





	1. Bleeding Love

She sits alone, dark hair falling into darker eyes, her hands clenched even as she feels the broken skin healing, the last wounds she will ever have to take. She hopes. She has left everyone, everything, she knows behind and run... run away. Following her heart. 

She had known she needed to find someone to help her, she had spent years seeking love. The feeling of pain had helped to make her sure. She had to take a chance. She stands, steps from the bath, dries herself, wincing. 

She will have to be brave for once. 

She had already signed up for the service ‘Heal Me’, a therapy app. At the same time she still checked her Instagram and Twitter. Someone had been leaving gentle, loving, messages for a time. Now she looked at the name ‘PatTina’ and smiled slightly. The user seemed to always know when she needed help. 

The app had chirped and Merle sighed, her eyes closing even as she chose to close the app after sending a single ‘I’m okay’, she wasn’t, but she would be. She had done all she could to get the name of her... well, that was the problem... what did you call someone you had only interacted with through an e-mail and texting app? Still, she would seek the girl soon.


	2. You've Got To Talk To Me

“Merle?”

The surprise is in the girl’s voice and her sudden shyness. This is her, PatTina, the woman who has always reached out. Despite everything Merle feels panic rise in her chest. This was a mistake, everything in her is saying so and she mumbles an apology, startling when the girl steps to take her hand, her voice soft. 

“Talk to me Mer...”

“He hit me...”

She looks up now, taking in every inch of the girl, who is younger, taller and bright eyed. The warmth in the girl’s hazel eyes shines even as she moves to push her blonde hair out of her eyes. Merle finds herself speechless, yes, the girl is right, she isn’t a skinny bitch, but she is beautiful. 

Merle’s hair had fallen away even as she looked up, revealing the still healing mark on her face. The girl’s breath catches, a gentle hand pushing hair out of her eyes. Merle’s silky brunette hair falls away and she looks up, hating the pain she knows has to be showing in her rich chocolate brown eyes. 

“Is that why you came?”

“Partly...”

Merle admits, hating the blush she knows has to be staining her cheeks now. 

“Oh... Kitten...”

The girl’s voice is warm, sweet and Merle blinks twice trying to hold back the tears that come to her eyes.


	3. Breaking Free To Fly, Because It's Now Or Never

“Can I stay?”

“Honey...”

The girl smiles, then speaks softly again.

“I’d be honoured to let you stay with me...”

The girl’s phone buzzes and she pauses, looking at it then laughing softly. She turns the phone to show Merle. ‘Merle Ginsberg just checked in at your home.’ 

“Well...”

Merle sighs, then falls silent, shrugging slightly and blushing a deeper shade of red. 

“I don’t... even know your name...”

“Alicia.”

The girl smiles. 

“Now... the big question is... do you have enough clothing?”

Merle smiles shyly and points out to the large case she had left on the doorstep, Alicia smiling and moving to gather it. 

“So, let’s find you a room...”

They walk closely and Alicia smiles at Merle comfortingly every so often. They eventually turn into a bedroom, one that is pale purple and filled with soft fittings. It looks, and feels, safe. For the first time since she had moved out of her home and flown all the way to England, to London, Merle feels like she can relax, the anxiety she had felt for hours finally falling away. She is peaceful, for once.


	4. Trying To Tame Every Single Spark, That Could Hurt, That Could Burn All Of Me...

The two settle in that night, Alicia doesn’t push for information, and slowly Merle lays bear all of her brokenness, crying silently even as she lets her guard down. She is surrendering herself to the other woman. Alicia listens in silence, tears sparkling in her eyes even as she moves to tuck Merle safely against her, stroking her hair tenderly every so often, her voice soft when she finally speaks.

“I won’t let that happen to you anymore...”

Merle believes her. She knows she can trust the other woman, she is trusting her own feelings. Alicia is soft, warm and kind. She leads Merle quietly on a tour of the house, then sends them both off to bed after kissing Merle’s forehead, not pushing for any other contact. 

The two dance around each other for days before Merle starts to feel the guard fading further. She had never let herself love before, not fully, and she’s not sure she can start now. They both feel it, and both try to put out any potential sparks. 

Finally it all fails them. 

Alicia comes home to Merle in sweatpants and a comfy t-shirt, not a scrap of make-up on her face and her breath catches... before either of them can stop it, they are kissing, it’s soft, light and it’s clear even now, with how tenderly Alicia cups Merle’s face in her hands, that she doesn’t want to hurt her.


	5. Electricity Flows With The Very First Kiss...

Alicia is the one to break it, her breathing still very fluttery, her eyes locked onto Merle’s, her voice soft.

“I.... I’m....”

She doesn’t get much of a chance to continue. Merle moves to claim her lips this time, settling herself into Alicia’s lap, silencing the girl’s apology before she can finish it. The second kiss is just as lightly tender and passionate as the first, Merle breaking away only when they are both panting for air, her eyes turning a richer shade of brown, lighting with love and happiness. 

“Don’t apologize...”

Time passes, they gather more air, then they return to talking, Merle not moving out of her lover’s lap, letting herself enjoy being wanted, being loved, being cared for. She knows she isn’t ready for anything more yet, but she knows that when she is ready she will be safe. She will be loved, deeply and truly. 

There is a light in both women’s eyes that wasn’t there before and Alicia sighs slightly, letting Merle curl into her, stroking a hand through Merle’s hair. 

“My Kitten...”

Despite herself Merle can’t help but purr softly, teasingly. 

It all feels so very right.


	6. Hungry Eyes

The two fall into a pattern of working and living. Alicia works harder than ever to finesse her act, Merle finding her feet in the London fashion magazines over time. They are together for nearly a month before everything feels natural, home life settles easier than working life but they survive. 

Merle catches Alicia looking at her sometimes, looking at her with hungry eyes, eyes that speak of a desperate wish to make a move and take things past a kiss, or even a light petting session. Over time Merle has learnt to allow Alicia small touches, the brushing of a hand, or wrist, the soft stroke of a hand over her back, or resting on her buttocks, but the girl never pushes her, despite her clear ache for the other woman. 

She had meant what she said, she would not push the woman. She was content to leave the woman to read, relax and sleep alone. She would also welcome Merle the few times she slipped into the bedroom for a light cuddle and sleep, the two settling into spooning slowly over the month. It is just enough to keep the edge off the longing they both felt.

They both knew that, as time passed, Merle grew more confident.


	7. Something Stupid

Even as the month had passed the two had talked and settled into a loving romance but neither had taken the first step towards admitting how they feel. They both keep swearing to themselves that the kisses and touches they share say it all anyway. 

The first time that the words slip from her Merle tries to play them off.

“I... I’m sorry, that was... stupid...”

Alicia, however, smiles, kissing Merle tenderly, her voice low and just slightly husky even as she replies, her eyes watery with unshed tears even as she moves to stroke hair out of Merle’s face, her words tender as always. 

“There’s nothing stupid about love...”

A pause fell, then Alicia spoke again, softly. 

“I love you too Merle.”

They head to bed together that night, Merle smiling even as she moves to kiss Alicia again, letting her feelings out properly this time. Kisses go from soft to passionate, Alicia’s hand comes to rest on Merle’s hip, light, stroking over the smooth fabric of her night-dress. She isn’t pushing but, this time, Merle is ready. 

Merle’s voice shakes when she speaks and she tries very hard not to blush. 

“Make Love to me...?”

Alicia’s eyes fill with tears, happy tears, even as she moves to kiss Merle again, her voice shaking slightly. 

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.... I’m sure. I’m ready.”


	8. I'll Make Love To You...

The two fall silent, Merle shifting only enough to let Alicia undress her, her blush rising slightly. Alicia smiles, moving to kiss Merle gently once she has her undressed, her own nightdress soon joins Merle’s on the floor, the love in her eyes coming through as she moves to deepen the kiss, moving so that they can take their time. 

The smile that Merle lets come to her lips even as Alicia moves to plant soft kisses over her cheek and over her neck, her lips coming to rest at Merle’s ear, is dazzling, the softness of the smile is enough to make Alicia speak, her voice low and husky. 

“You are so beautiful...”

Merle is about to fight that comment when Alicia moves to cup and caress her breasts, making Merle gasp slightly, the tenderness of Alicia’s touch is still enough to arouse her. She shifts slightly even as the girl spends her time teasing and caressing both her breasts and nipples, her nipples slowly hardening just enough that Alicia smiles, a hand running south. The other moves into Merle’s hair, pushing it from her face, keeping her face exactly where Alicia can see it, letting her have no space to hide her emotions or needs. 

The first caress of Alicia’s thumb over her clit is enough to draw a ragged moan from Merle’s lips, a moan that is soon stifled by the soft kiss that Alicia plants onto her lips. She stiffens slightly at the feel of fingers moving into her and Alicia pauses, kissing her softly. 

“Relax Merle... I won’t hurt you...”

Her hand moves away and rests against her right hip instead, keeping her just still enough that Alicia can plant soft, tender kisses down her body. Merle is more than open to what comes next, her legs falling more readily open as Alicia moves to settle her body between Merle’s legs, both hands now at her hips, the first gentle swipe of Alicia’s tongue over her clit is enough to draw a second ragged moan from Merle, she arches, just slightly, allowing Alicia to taste her for the first time, the smile that comes to Alicia’s lips is a little feral even as she licks her lips, clearly enjoying what she was doing. 

It takes only a little longer for Merle to find herself coming undone under the tender ministrations of Alicia’s tongue and fingers, she cries out, her body arching fairly sharply, and yet she isn’t crying as she comes down. This is the first time it has felt like her pleasure matters. Alicia merely smiles, working her way back up Merle’s body, pressing soft kisses to her hip, ribs and chest then lips, the kiss turning passionate again even as Merle feels gentle fingers pressing into her, her soft noise of pleasure stifled against the other woman’s lips. 

Alicia spends much of the night pulling release after release from Merle, she is content to let Merle have her time. Merle will have plenty of other nights to learn her new skill sets after all. 

They continue in much the same fashion for a long time before Merle is brave enough to learn how to pleasure Alicia, her own personal style remaining soft and tender even as she pushed for more and more releases from Alicia, giving the woman plenty of chances to pull releases from her in return.


	9. Hey Baby, I Think I Wanna Marry You...

They remain content to date, to call each other pet names or say the words ‘my Lover’ when they are talking to others, or one another. Still, as time passes, Merle begins to long for something more constant. 

She waits, taking her time to find the right ring, the right dress and get everything in place so that she is ready if Alicia says yes. She is fairly sure she will say yes.   
She is ready for a long time before she finally broaches the subject. 

“Babe?”

“Yeah Kitten?”

“I... have something to ask you... can you come here?”

She is already kneeling when Alicia comes to where she is in the bedroom, the bed scattered with rose petals. 

“Marry me?”

Alicia pauses only long enough to take in the brightness in Merle’s eyes, then smiles, her voice shaking even as she responds.

“Yes...” 

Merle can’t help but smile even as she moves to slip the ring onto her lover’s finger. Finally, it feels real. The two split up the next time they go shopping so that Merle can book into a spa and find some time to relax whilst Alicia picks out her suit, taking very little time to find the perfect outfit, and a ring. The ring takes longer. Where Merle has given her a plain golden engagement ring, something that is exactly her style, she wants to find something a little more impressive for Merle. She picks out a ring, then puts another set on one side for when they finally marry. 

Time passes as they set the date, tell friends, and prepare the wedding fully, all the way down to the reception. 

On the day of the wedding they arrive separately, Alicia is standing at the alter with her best woman and she is ready. She is only waiting for her wife-to-be. The music starts and Alicia turns, her pale purple suit and white shirt and bow-tie making her look both slimmer and more content. She finds tears in her eyes as she looks at Merle. 

Merle has picked out a sweetheart-neckline and longer dress, she looks like a princess, her smile soft even as she moved to thank her maid of honour then kneel with Alicia, smiling again at Alicia’s mouthed ‘you look beautiful...’ 

The ceremony is over quickly but they take their time with the kiss, drawing whistles from the crowd. Alicia is smiling even as she moves to take Merle’s hand and lead her out of the church. 

This is the start of a brand new life for them both.


End file.
